


Ten Years

by examsarecomingbutimprocrastinating



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon verse, Eren is 25yo, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Time Jump!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/examsarecomingbutimprocrastinating/pseuds/examsarecomingbutimprocrastinating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years since the deaths of Levi's original squad and Eren still feels overwhelming guilt. Eren finds him outside the HQ and they talk it out, sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Years

Over the years, Eren had risen in rank and became a captain himself. Since this promotion, the two had been spending more and more time together, that doesn’t mean to say that Levi knows anything that goes on in the younger man’s mind. He knew that he felt attraction and cared for him as time passed along with the time spent together, though he would never admit these feelings out loud. To admit things such as love and care was sealing the deal on a guilty conscience for the other. Which is probably why Eren felt tormented by the deaths of the original squad he came to know almost ten years ago. He had no reason to stop himself from caring about them, but he was such an emotional teenager, it was unavoidable.  
Almost ten years had passed since Levi’s original squad had met their ends at the expense of the expedition following Annie’s attacks. Each year that passed, Eren felt more and more guilt. A feeling that he knew had the ability to suffocate him. But even with this knowledge he allowed the guilt to fester and dwell.

As the ten year mark approached, Eren found himself in bed staring at his ceiling replaying the day in his head over and over and over. Each one of their bodies flashing in his mind, as if he just witnessed it. A single tear escaped and slid down the side of his forehead as he continued to look to the ceiling, willing the ceiling to heal the pain in his heart over their deaths.

With a groan of frustration the young man leapt out of bed and stalked out of the HQ, needing fresh air; some sort of relief.  
It was just after midnight, and Levi very rarely attempted sleep before four am. So he was surprised to see Eren stalking out of the castle and through the front gate as he glanced out his window. He could see by the cast of Eren’s silhouette shadow from the moonlight that he was sitting outside just by the gate, so he made his way out to him.  
“Jaeger.” He said bluntly as he approached the young man.

Eren visibly jumped, cursing under his breath. As soon as he saw it was Levi who had caught him, his head hung low. Seeing Levi, now of all times, wasn’t going to help anything.  
“What are you doing out of bed?” He asked, authoritatively, arms crossed as he stood beside the other.

“Couldn’t sleep” Eren replied, no emotion in his tone.

“You have an office. Why didn’t you go there?”

“Needed air.” Came the reply, again with no emotion. “Listen, can I have some time?”

“Tch, you would have never dared to talked to me like that ten years ago” Levi announced, amusement in his voice.

Anger rose through Eren’s body, his mind began to race.  
“Ten years ago, you should have beaten the living shit out of me.” He spoke with gritted teeth.

“The fuck you talking about, Eren?”

Standing up, Eren punched the wall that he had just been leaning on. He punched, again and again and again. Blood began to spill from his knuckles when Levi grabbed Eren by the shoulder and arms.  
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Exclaimed Levi as he struggled to push Eren away from the wall and doing more damage to his hands.

“Fuck” Eren whispered under his breath.

He pushed Levi off of him, finally looking face to face to Levi. This was when the shorter man could see that the other had clearly missed out on sleep and had spent a good deal of time crying, if his red nose and blood shot eyes were anything to go by.  
“Eren, just talk to me. What’s all this about?” He asked, not taking a step forward in case it’ll tip Eren off to harm himself again.

Eren shouted to the air in frustration.  
“Be mad at me! Just be angry! Kick the shit out of me!!”

“For what, you maniac?!”

“I’m the reason Petra and the rest are dead!”

As intelligent as Levi knew himself to be, he wouldn’t have guessed this was what had Eren so upset. He didn’t allow himself to think about his old squad for sanity’s sake. But he had established in his mind that it was not Eren’s fault.  
“Eren..” Levi breathed, more to himself. “That was not your fault and you know it.”

“Fuck, I’ll see you in the morn-” as Eren made his was to walk back into the castle, Levi forcefully pushed him back to the wall.

As his back made contact with said wall, Levi looked into Eren’s eyes with intense emotion. The most emotion Eren had seen from him.  
“None, listen to me, none of their deaths were your fault. They were highly skilled scouts that were killed because of a crazy bitch. You hear me?!” Levi snarled.

He wondered why he had gotten so riled up from Eren’s self hating episode, but the idea of Eren telling himself things that Levi himself didn’t believe to be true repulsed him.  
“If I had just shifted earlier! Or done something differe-”

“Do you think we all don’t hold similar if’s and but’s?! But we can’t hold them for long because it will kill us! There is no sense in holding on to what can’t be changed!”

Eren’s mind raced back to the day his mother was killed in front of his eyes…maybe Levi had a point. But then again, his words didn’t make the pain in his heart go away.  
Levi took a stride forward to Eren, perhaps too close to be considered respectful of personal space. And placed the palm of his hand on the other’s chest.

“What happened that day was not your fault.” He spoke, barely above a whisper. “And I’ve never once felt anger towards you, of all people, because of what happened.”

Levi could feel Eren’s heart begin to calm down after he spoke, looking up he saw the taller man’s eyes were closed tightly.  
“Do you miss them?” Eren asked.

“I do” Levi replied truthfully.

Eren’s body shook, whether it was because of the cold or Levi’s confessing that he does miss them, he didn’t know.  
“You know, Petra fancied me.”

Eren laughed “I think everyone knew that. I don’t know why, she must have had problems with her eyes.”

At that, Levi pushed him, with a smirk. “Okay, you’re fine now. You’re back to being a dick”

“I’m only a dick because I’ve been around you for the last sixty years”

“It has not been that long, brat.” Levi smirked.

“Feels like it” Eren replied with a smirk.

They both stood there under the moonlight, just smiling to one another.   
Realising his palm was still on Eren’s chest, Levi made to move it when Eren’s hand shot up and placed his own palm over Levi’s.  
“I wouldn’t recover if you ever died” Eren breathed.

“Eren, you shouldn’t say things li-”

“It’s fine.” He spoke over Levi. “It’s fine as long as you don’t die.”

As he finished speaking, Eren embraced Levi in a tight hug. After hesitating, Levi ghosted his hands over Eren’s back and finally returned the embrace.  
They stood there for a while, just having their own moment. Ever so quietly, Levi spoke  
“You too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment!
> 
> my tumblr is mynarutomind


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